Immediately, I flip 40. Behind the scenes, I’m taking an intentional day to myself (no laptop or cellphone) to rejoice the large decade that’s behind me and to lean into the thrill I really feel for the last decade forward.

Once I turned 30, somebody informed me my 30s could be the most effective decade. I typically take into consideration that as a result of my 30s did transform monumental. It wasn’t the most effective decade in the way in which this particular person meant. However, on the identical time, it kinda was.

Earlier than the primary yr of my 30s was midway over, an occasion I now consider as “the Large Bang” knocked the bottom from beneath me in methods I by no means noticed coming. My 30s had been a decade of nice ache, however it was a wierd kind of ache. I look again on it, and, actually, it appears wonderful. It was the kind of ache that brings change, transformation, liberation.

It was a portal. A Doorway of No Return—proper on time as my First Act ended and the Second started. And what an Journey World I entered.

It was a personality arc.

It modified me, totally. I grew up. I moved past slender constrictions and definitions that I had thought had been mine, however that weren’t. I stripped myself all the way down to the very core—all the way down to the shadows, all the way down to the vacancy—after which out into unfathomable vastness, into the uncooked and insufferable glory that’s life itself. I received to decide on life in a method not everybody does.

It was a decade wherein I moved 3 times, purchased my first home, centered on therapeutic, fell down extra occasions than I can depend, and rose and rose once more.

It was a decade wherein I got here to grasp Story on a deeper degree than I ever had earlier than.

As I stand right here at this threshold between many years, I wished to mark the second with one thing just a little lighter and extra private—a celebration, not simply of my largest classes and transformations, however of the small, quirky, human issues that make up the feel of my life. So, in honor of turning 40, listed here are 40 belongings you may not find out about me. Some are critical, some are foolish, all are items of the story that’s introduced me right here and the one nonetheless unfolding.

40 Issues You Would possibly Not Know About Me

1. I’m enthusiastic about well being and biohacking. Through the years, I’ve discovered how a lot my creativity is dependent upon my physique’s power and steadiness. I like exploring methods to help that, together with consuming as clear as doable, staying energetic, training yoga, minimizing toxins, and usually treating my physique like an ally within the artistic course of. For me, it’s not about perfection, however fairly curiosity and stewardship. I’m at all times in search of find out how to higher dwell in concord with the techniques that maintain me. I’ve discovered that creativity is life pressure, and as such it needs to be cultivated, which fairly often appears to be like like cultivating your well being. It needs to be honored and approached with reverence fairly than management. It needs to be listened to fairly than dictated to.

2. My favourite “cheat” meal is mac and cheese. (My nieces and nephews even name me “Aunt Mac.”)

3. For guilty-pleasure films, I at all times return to Golden Hollywood. It’s what I grew up watching. A lot good storytelling in these years, and I additionally simply love the lightheartedness in a lot of it. There’s a wholesomeness to it I actually love. It at all times seems like residence after I return to outdated films like Stagecoach and It’s a Fantastic Life, Bette Davis, Humphrey Bogart, Errol Flynn.

4. A perception I held that when protected me however finally restricted me was that my life was meant to comply with another person’s map. For a very long time, that perception made me really feel secure—till I spotted the trail I used to be on was main me away from myself. The day I began charting my very own course was the day my story really started.

5. I can not stand bananas.

6. My morning routine at all times consists of skincare, meditation, and baked eggs for breakfast.

7. My theme tune is “Eye of the Tiger.” (My dad began calling me a “tiger” earlier than I used to be born. I nonetheless personal the stuffed tiger in just a little T-shirt says “I ♥ Katie” that he purchased me after I was a new child within the hospital.)

8. I used to be homeschooled in a small city in western Nebraska in the course of nowhere. I owned two horses, and the spotlight of my yr was spending time on a buddy’s cattle ranch in Wyoming each summer time.

9. I began writing as a approach to “not neglect” the tales I’d inform myself. My first writing gig was a household e-newsletter that finally grew to become Horse Tails with a subscribership of 30 folks—of which I used to be very proud. I produced it for 5 years till I completed highschool and began specializing in novels.

10. I’m secretly actually good at swearing like a sailor (in three languages).

11. My espresso ritual: Chemex pour-over, dark-roast decaf, natural and water processed, with simply sufficient cream to cowl the underside of the mug.

12. My favourite a part of storytelling is the half earlier than I even begin writing it. I like to be within the daydreaming and the imagining. My second favourite half is outlining after I’m simply having a dialog with myself longhand in a pocket book.

13. I can’t begin writing till I’ve some form of meals to floor me. I default to a cup of espresso. Music has at all times been key as nicely. Prior to now, I’d hearken to my soundtracks alphabetically as a result of I favored that generally I’d get bizarre contrasts—like after I’d be writing a love scene to Gladiator, or I’d be making an attempt to write down a battle to one thing actually comfortable and contemplative like Cider Home Guidelines. Typically, it completely didn’t work, however generally it will assist me discover attention-grabbing juxtapositions and feelings. These days, I’m rather more moody and spend method an excessive amount of time looking for precisely the suitable factor.

14. Once I was twenty, I used to be in an ATV accident that cracked my cranium. Only a few weeks earlier than turning forty, I totaled my car in one other automotive accident. In each instances, I (kind of) walked away. These moments remind me how fragile and miraculous life is. They made me extra acutely aware of my well being, my physique, and the sheer present of getting to maintain dwelling this story—in addition to the sense that there’s a purpose I’m nonetheless right here and a goal in every day I get to maintain dwelling.

15. My largest ongoing life lesson is boundaries—studying to not front-load them from avoidance, however to work with them holistically in relationships. Telling folks no.

16. I as soon as tried to study to bowl simply to beat a boy at a bowling contest. I practiced for months and nonetheless principally threw gutter balls, although weirdly I’d typically get a strike on my very first try to by no means once more after that.

17.  The standard I most admire in folks is authenticity. It’s that capability to be deeply in contact with your individual fact and your individual wholeness—and likewise a way of what’s damaged and maybe blind. It’s the cohesiveness of self that means that you can stand fearlessly in who you might be. It’s to not say you by no means admit you’re mistaken or by no means change, however there’s a deep sense of fact about the place you exist by yourself leading edge at any second. I’d say that’s one thing I love as a result of it’s such a core quest for myself.

18.  I imagine love is a state of being. It’s a frequency, a vibrational pressure. It’s not a sense per se, though we do really feel it. I imagine most of what folks say love is are simply emergents from what love actually is. To me, love is identical vibration as well being, the identical vibration as fact, the identical vibration as magnificence. If you’re “in” love, the world is correct. There’s an alignment to who you might be and the way you progress by way of life. You’re entire; you might be fulfilled. Love isn’t one thing you give or take. It’s like being in a swimming pool: love is the water that surrounds you. Being “in” love is a matter of bringing your self into that vibration. You possibly can actually discover ways to flip the swap.

19. My favourite family ritual goes round the home very first thing within the morning and opening all of the curtains to see what the day is like.

20. My completely satisfied place is hanging out with my nieces and nephews.

21. The place that modified me most was in all probability Missouri. I lived there for 3 years. They had been actually onerous years, however I discovered and found a lot about myself. They had been actually nice years, too.

22. The timeline of my life has by no means matched what has been taught as regular. I’ve hit some milestones early, and others I hit late or have but to hit. I’ve needed to study to give up to the concept of “trusting the tide I got here in on”—that I used to be born on the proper second for every thing I’m meant to do on this life and that I’ve to belief the method, have endurance with the profound quantity of transformation I’ve embraced on this lifetime, and to acknowledge that whereas this creates an excessive amount of pace in some areas, in others it requires an excessive amount of slowness. I’m permitting my story to be what it’s as a substitute of insisting it needs to be one thing else. There’s a profound quantity of freedom accessible in that discovery.

23. I at all times write with a black pen.

24. My ultimate time without work appears to be like like taking a time without work to only binge-watch one thing all day lengthy. I don’t watch loads of TV and films daily anymore, however I take a day as soon as a month to only binge-watch one thing.

25. I’d fairly be a stand for one thing fairly than towards one thing. I’ve seen so clearly all through my life that what we resist persists. On a private degree, I’ve at all times felt it was by no means sufficient for me to maneuver away from issues that weren’t working; I at all times wanted to have one thing I may transfer towards.

26. One of many guiding rules of my life has been that outdated proverb that “if you wish to change the world, change your nation, if you wish to change your nation, change your metropolis, if you wish to change your metropolis, change your loved ones, if you wish to change your loved ones, change your self.” All of it begins at residence. All of it begins inside.

27. I additionally imagine even the smallest acts of integrity inside oneself (even when they’re taking place behind closed doorways in your home and nobody ever sees or is aware of what you could have chosen, labored by way of, and overcome) have a ripple impact. Many of the ache on the planet comes from a sense of separation—of turning one thing or somebody into the Different that should be defeated or fought towards. Recognizing that begins inside, as a result of there are such a lot of elements of ourselves we attempt to make Different—that we’re ashamed of or that we vilify or put into the shadow. I imagine crucial work we are able to do is the work of the self.

28. I like the concept of inside callings—that we come into this life with sure issues we are supposed to fulfill, that some a part of us already is aware of. To me, that provides an excessive amount of which means and goal, even when issues are onerous or don’t make sense. There’s at all times a lesson, at all times a instructor, at all times one thing for my good that’s meant to assist me do what I’m right here to do.

29. I imagine life is in the end about studying to return into integrity and wholeness inside oneself, to carry again and heal and combine the items that generally are shattered or misplaced. Inherent to that’s the quest for every of us of studying to hearken to who we’re, to know what’s true for us, and to achieve increasingly more capability to face in that integrity. The one factor any certainly one of us is requested to do on this life is to be true. I believe we are able to get very simply distracted from that—not least as a result of generally, the factor we predict is the truest for us is basically the loudest ego projection in our lives. For me, there’s this large mandate to not simply attempt to overcome my blind spots, however to simply accept with humility that I’ve them—and that, by their very definition, I don’t know what they’re. I don’t suppose that ought to undermine confidence or conviction. However I do suppose it deserves an incredible quantity of humility and an excessive amount of self-introspection.

30. I’ve typically outlined my very own success solely looking back. I’ve reached sure marks and realized that by sure folks’s definitions, these markers could be outlined as successes—whether or not it’s podcast downloads or books bought or making a dwelling as a author or successful some award or having a sure quantity followers on social media. All of that’s nice, and I’ve at all times appreciated it. However I’ve by no means chased it. I’ve by no means actually felt snug chasing finish targets. I’m rather more thinking about being curious and taking part in and specializing in the job at hand. My targets are extra about “I’m going to do that immediately” or “I’m going to place this ebook out this yr.” I don’t very like being within the house or power of worrying an excessive amount of about how nicely issues will do. I simply do my finest and put it on the market.

31. I’ve handled imposter syndrome my total profession. I’ve confronted it by trying it within the eye and being very clear about who I’m, what I’m doing, and why I’m doing it. Typically that readability may be about “how a lot cash do I’ve to make to be a hit?” or “what number of books do I’ve to promote?” But it surely’s additionally asking, “Am I doing what I like? Am I being genuine? Am I exhibiting up in a method I’m happy with? Am I making an affect? Am I placing one thing good into the world?” That’s to not say I don’t outline my success by materials issues, as a result of I completely do. If swiftly, I made zero {dollars} tomorrow and bought zero books, I’d clearly face some fairly huge ego deaths and fears. However right here’s what I come again to on a regular basis: I used to say about writing fiction that even when nobody ever learn what I wrote, I’d nonetheless do it. To me, I believe that’s the definition of success. Is what I’m doing one thing I’d do it doesn’t matter what? Is it one thing I’d transfer heaven and earth to do?

32. I  identify all of the necessary bushes in my life. Proper now, I’m making mates with Mr. and Mrs. Maple, the Owl Tree, and the Sentinel.

33.  My Myers-Briggs sort is INTJ. My Human Design profile is a 6/2 Generator with emotional authority. My Enneagram sort is a 3 (tritype is 351). Scorpio Solar, Scorpio Rising, Libra Moon.

34. I’m barely paranoid about hearth and generally should go round and double-check that shops aren’t sizzling.

35. Once I was youthful, I didn’t have a spot for feelings in my life. I didn’t perceive how delicate and emotional I used to be, and I didn’t actually discover ways to cry till life cracked me open at 30. However life has been a lot richer with emotion. It’s harder, however a lot extra dimensional too.

36.  The character I relate to most from my very own books is 100% Allara from Dreamlander. I didn’t intend her to mainly be me, however in loads of methods she was. IYKYK.

37.  My favourite film is The Nice Escape. However the story that modified my life was Lord of the Rings.

38. To me, story is a primal pressure. I typically communicate of story within the singular. It’s capital-S Story. It’s an archetypal pressure. The extra I examine it, I simply see it in every single place. And I don’t know if story itself is the reflection or if story is what every thing else is reflecting. For me, story is a map. It’s the cartography of the cosmos. There may be a lot extra there than we perceive. Story is a lot extra of an initiatory pressure than we acknowledge more often than not. In my life, when I’ve gone by way of my hardest moments, it’s story that has saved me. And I don’t imply particular tales, though they’ve performed a task, however story itself and my very own capability to acknowledge it as this archetypal, immutable pressure on the planet and in my life.

39. What I want I may inform my youthful self… I at all times consider the road from the film The Child (which has at all times been a significant film to me, however particularly now that I’m turning 40, which is what the story is about). Within the movie, somebody is requested that very same factor, and she or he responds, “I’d say, child… it’s gonna be tremendous.”

What I’d inform my youthful self is:

“It’s all going to work out.

I’ve received you.

All of the belongings you suppose can by no means occur in your life—all of the doorways that you just suppose are closed—they’re not.

By the point you get to 40, you’re going to have walked by way of virtually all of these doorways, and also you’re going to be a model of your self you can be so happy with.

So simply cling on.

Hold doing what you’re doing.

Hold exhibiting up.

Be trustworthy.

Belief your self.

Let your self cry.

And, above all, maintain listening to the tales.

Hold telling tales.”

40. The most effective factor about turning 40 is that it doesn’t really feel like the start of the top. It seems like the start of the start. It seems like I’m on the threshold of all crucial issues that may occur in my life. I really feel extensive open to what it’s I’m actually right here to do and to say—stuffed with vitality and pleasure and anticipation and gratitude for all that has been and for all that I do know might be.

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