After thirty-three years of staging Raindance — Europe’s largest and longest-running celebration of fiercely impartial cinema,  I’ve discovered that it’s by no means simply the movies that make a competition unforgettable.

It’s the characters who roam the foyers, crowd the bars, hijack the Q&As, and infrequently nook you with a 17-minute pitch a few dystopian love story set in Milton Keynes. Raindance is a residing, respiratory ecosystem of artists, obsessives, opportunists, philosophers, and individuals who unintentionally wandered in considering this was a pop-up wine tasting.

And after three a long time of observing this tribe in its pure habitat, I can verify: a few of them actually shouldn’t be left alone with a microphone, a volunteer, or anybody with a drink of their hand.

So, with affection, accuracy, and an additional measure of snark — listed below are 7 Varieties of Movie Competition Attendees: Raindance Version.

Movies don’t make a competition.
Folks do.
And a few of these folks ought to by no means be left unattended close to a microphone, an afterparty, or a volunteer with a clipboard.

Right here’s your area information.

1. The “I Was Right here Earlier than It Was Cool” Purist

Noticed by: Telling everybody they attended Raindance in 1993.
They haven’t truly seen a movie since Diva (1981), however don’t fear — they’ll nonetheless lecture each younger filmmaker about “actual impartial cinema” whereas blocking the doorway to Display screen 3.
Favorite phrase: “Again when Raindance was harmful…”

2. The Jury Member Who Takes It Very Severely

Noticed by: Carrying sun shades indoors + carrying a pocket book labelled ART.
You’ll assume they’re judging Cannes.
They are going to analyse a micro-short a few speaking toaster with the philosophical depth of Nietzsche.
In some unspecified time in the future they’ll whisper to you:
“I simply don’t assume folks perceive what I’m doing with criticism.”
And you’ll nod sympathetically as a result of they’ve at hand out the award later.

3. The Volunteer Working the Total Competition With Tape and Sheer Willpower

Noticed by: Carrying seven radios, two tote luggage, and the emotional weight of 300 filmmakers.
They will resolve any downside besides their very own sleep schedule.
If you happen to ask the place Display screen 5 is, they’ll teleport you there.
If you happen to ask how lengthy the queue is, they’ll stare into the abyss and whisper:
“It by no means ends.”
Purchase them a drink. They deserve it. They received’t settle for it, however they deserve it.

4. The Midnight Bar Thinker

Noticed by: Delivering a 40-minute monologue about “the demise of cinema” whereas consuming another person’s Guinness.
They’ve by no means programmed a movie, made a movie, or watched a movie that wasn’t on YouTube at 1.25x pace.
However at 1:47 a.m., they change into the Plato of Soho.
Favorite quote: “What is a narrative, actually?”
Will vanish earlier than the invoice arrives.

5. The “Networking Is My Cardio” Indie Climber

Noticed by: Jogging from panel to panel like they’re in a networking triathlon.
They don’t watch movies — they “contact base.”
They “circle again.”
They “seize 5 minutes” with you whereas bodily pinning you to the wall.
If you happen to make eye contact, you’ll obtain a 3-minute pitch a few sci-fi rom-com they “might completely shoot on an iPhone if in case you have a spare £150,000.”

6. The Raindance Loyalist Filmmaker

Noticed by: Submitting a movie, attending three programs, pitching one other movie, and planning to submit once more subsequent 12 months.
They know each volunteer by identify.
They’ve six Raindance tote luggage.
Elliot as soon as nodded at them within the lobby and they’re now spiritually certain to the competition.
Yearly they are saying: “This time I’m solely seeing two movies.”
Yearly they see 47.

7. The “I Solely Got here for the Free Drinks” Trade Ghost

Noticed by: One way or the other showing at each VIP occasion regardless of not being on any record.
They are going to introduce themselves as a producer “engaged on a slate” (translation: no precise movies).
They drink the free prosecco, ship a 20-minute speech concerning the British movie {industry} being “on the point of one thing big,” then vanish into the London night time like a taxpayer-funded spectre.

Vacation Sale: Save 37% 

If you happen to’ve noticed your self — or worse, a number of of your folks — on this record, congratulations: you might be precisely the type of wonderful chaos that retains Raindance alive after 33 years. Festivals aren’t constructed on crimson carpets or large budgets. They’re constructed on folks such as you: the purists, the hustlers, the philosophers, the loyalists, and the ghosts who someway infiltrate each VIP bar identified to humankind.

Which is the proper second to say our Vacation Competition Cross Sale, the place — imagine it or not — it can save you 37% on a Raindance cross. Sure, that’s actual. No, you don’t want a secret code. Simply click on, declare, and put together to expertise Europe’s most outspoken, most rebellious, and most passionately impartial movie competition at a fraction of the worth.

Be a part of us. Carry your chaos. Carry your tales.
Raindance is ready.

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