It’s the day of the giving of thanks, a vacation that’s ostensibly problematic in its origin however sort of good and pure in its present type — it’s a celebration solely minimally about shopping for issues and finally about sitting down with family and friends to a stupidly caloric starch-bomb meal, typically concluding with some method of pie.

(I urged on Bluesky that the last word type of Thanksgiving would possibly in truth be Piesgiving, the place you start the day with breakfast pie, and eat savory pies all through the day till crossing the end line with quite a lot of candy and season-slash-region-appropriate dessert pies. The objective is then additionally to determine methods to flip, say, a espresso drink into one thing reflective of pie — or a cocktail, as properly. IT CAN BE DONE. And sure, there’s already 3/14, Pi Day, however the objective right here can be to make it extra autumnal, extra apropos to the usual Thanksgiving meal.)

Anyway, it’s a pleasant day, and also you could be sitting down in some unspecified time in the future and having fun with apples at this time, as I hope you’re. You might be, in spite of everything, a member of the Apple Snack Gang whether or not you wish to be or not, sorry, I don’t make the foundations, simply by studying these very phrases you’re legally throughout all galactic satrapies a member of the cult I imply gang. Welcome aboard!

I’ve obtained apples in my selfmade cranberry sauce, and I additionally made a facet of applesauce — this time utilizing Ludacrisp apples, and actually, it tastes a little bit bizarre. Not unhealthy! However bizarre. I additionally get a pie from Manufacturing unit Woman, and I’ll simply allow you to get a have a look at that magnificence:

They’ve in truth challenged me to attempt to determine what 5 apples they use on this wonderful pie — actually, it’s one of the best apple pie ever — and boy howdy am I down for that problem. I’ll get it fallacious! However I’ll attempt.

(My go-to apple pie apple is Goldrush, however I’ve but to have the ability to get any this season, as my orchard appears late to place them out. Aaaugh.)

Anyway, one of many apples I believe mostly utilized in Thanksgiving foodstivities is, in truth, the apple I’m right here to assessment at this time.

With out additional ado:

My assessment of a Manoff Orchard Granny Smith, late-Nov:

The Granny Smith apple! An apple that I solely simply realized is seemingly an Aussie apple. Not British, not American. Could even have some ties to Tasmanian crabapples? And it’s named after a literal Granny Smith — Maria Ann Smith, an orchard-keeper.

Regardless of the case, it’s typically considered an ideal baking apple, a very good sauce apple, and a horrible consuming apple.

In reality, my final assessment some years in the past was this:

“It’s good for baking however don’t put it in your mouth.”

And that was it.

Factor is, that was a grocery retailer model procured in January. It was tart as hell, laborious as a rock, and made my mouth unhappy.

I made a decision this 12 months, properly, why not give it one other go?

They had been popping up at my native orchard, plus I used to be utilizing some to cook dinner with for Turkey Day (a day through which I don’t make turkey, by the way in which, and at this time I’ll be making little quails) — so I saved one for consuming out of hand.

The consequence?

This was a stunning apple! Quelle shock, which is French for: “I AM SHOOKETH, FOR THIS APPLE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A MISERABLE ORB OF TONGUE-SHRIVELING SOURNESS, BASICALLY JUST A LIME, BUT ACTUALLY, IT WAS MUCH BETTER THAN THAT, THEREFORE I AM, AS PREVIOUSLY NOTED, SHOOKETH.”

Crisp fairly than crunchy. Juicy however not like, “go see a health care provider” juicy. Had a lemonade taste, however much less a super-sweet lemonade and extra the artisanal sort which is principally lemon and minimally sugar. It was tart, however not uncandy. The pores and skin was not an issue to eat and was, erm, simple to perforate and didn’t linger longer within the mouth.

All instructed?

Very pleasing. Fairly refreshing!

Solely oddities had been —

a) the pores and skin supplied about 10% banana runts

b) a puzzling savory notice manifested and lingered lengthy after consuming the apple — not disagreeable, however odd

Neither of these are deal-breakers.

As such, for eating-out-of-hand, that is a simple 6.6 out of 10. (Increased in case you’re utilizing it for baking or throwing on the shrieking poop-fingered goblins you’ve parked on the kiddy desk at this time.)

You possibly can watch me eat it — and regard its witch’s nipple — right here.

(I additionally fast remind: order my books by Nov thirtieth right here from Doylestown to get them shipped to you with distinctive personalizations and stickers. Help a cool indie bookstore. Assist me purchase extra apples within the course of. Okay, minimal capitalistic intrusion full.)

I’m grateful for this apple.

I’m grateful for you.

Okay bye.

Granny Smith: Finest for baking however a very good model from a pleasant orchard will give a pleasantly refreshing lemonadey apple-eating expertise

Evaluations in 2025: Honeycrisp, Sweetie, Crimson Crisp, Knobbed Russet, Cortland, Maiden’s Blush, Cox’s Orange Pippin, Reine des Reinettes, Ingrid Marie, Hudson’s Golden Gem, Holstein, Suncrisp, Ashmead’s Kernel, Opalescent, Orleans Reinette, Black Gilliflower, Purple Scrumptious Double Function, Jonathan, Ruby Mac, Crimson Topaz, Esopus Spitzenburg, Mutsu, Hunnyz, Winesap, Stayman Winesap, Winter Banana, Ribston Pippin, Rhode Island Greening, Roxbury Russet, Opal, Cosmic Crisp, Black Oxford, Ananas Reinette, Sugarbee